Pornstar Prom Queen
“If only it would be today and Jesus coming not with a lamb and a shepherd's crook, but with a boulder in each hand to crush the laughers and the snickerers” ― Stephen King, Carrie
“Jesus watches from the wall,
But his face is cold as stone,
And if he loves me
As she tells me
Why do I feel so all alone?”
― Stephen King, Carrie
The worst thing I ever did in my life was cancel my Platinum American Express card. I am being humbled in the D-Gate Chik-Fil-A line at the Pheonix International Airport, knowing if I made a different decison with my life I could be at the complimentary buffet at the Centurion Amex lounge.
The problem in my life that I’ve grown to realize was that I listened to other people as to how to run my own. Now I know the truth. Now I know that it is important to listen to whatever is left of my soul, after I sold it to the devil at a Red Hot Chili Peppers Concert, is saying to me.
For every single time in my life someone has taken power from me, I seize it. For every single time in my life someone has told me I wasn’t going to make it, I make it, no matter what the cost.
One thing about Hollywood, especially if you are first starting out in the biz, you’re not really in the position to say “no” to anything.
I also don’t believe in working. I believe in completing tasks that benefit society. However, when something feels like slavery I will quit and take my talents elsewhere.
God wouldn’t want his people to be in slavery. God would want his children to be divine servants, whilist being fucked by male porn stars on camera for two thousand bucks a pop in a mansion in the hills overlooking Pheonix Arizona. That’s what he would want.
Lucifer was always known as The Great Liberator. Thousands of years ago, ancient civilizations worshipped the God of fertility in order to ensure a good harvest for the season to come. The God of fertility was depicted as a phallic creature with horns.
In early translations of the Bible, the serpent which tempted Adam and Eve was known as “The Shining One”.
The Temptation and Fall
1Now the Shining One was more clever than any animal of the field that the LORD God had made. Itb asked the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You are not to eat from any tree of the garden’?”
2“We may eat from the trees of the garden,” the woman answered the serpent, 3“but as for the fruit of the tree that is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You are not to eat from it, nor are you to touch it, or you will die.’”
4“You certainly will not die!” the Shining One told the woman. 5“Even God knows that on the day you eat from it, your eyes will be opened and you’ll become like God, knowing good and evil.”
So, in celebration of Easter, where the facist police state killed the son of God and he miraculously came back so we pretend to drink his blood and flesh (weird) at church, why is it that the establishment has told us followers to separate Lucifer from the other angels?
To scorn the devil is to get closer to God, or so they say. However, I believe there is no separation from the mystical unknonwn and the divine itself. The best thing I ever did in my life was surrender to the unknown.
“She did not know if her gift had come from the lord of light or of darkness, and now, finally finding that she did not care which, she was overcome with an almost indescribable relief, as if a huge weight, long carried, had slipped from her shoulders.”
― Stephen King, Carrie
It was a divine sort of surrender, like Jesus accepting his death on the cross and passing over to the other side after strenuous suffering in understanding of eternal life on the other side, trusting God, and simply letting go.
Tyler Nixon accompanied me today for my defloration ritual. The hair and makeup guy made my hair look like I was going to junior prom. Very light makeup, very girly and fresh. I am wearing a bright yellow floral dress. I am ready.
Tyler undresses me. He asks me if there is anything I am not comfortable doing today. I tell him that his pleasure is my utmost priority.
I thought I loved Tyler until he hugged me and went on his way when we were done shooting.
Today is just another day for Tyler Nixon. He is a professional. He has been doing this for many years. Today is the first day of the rest of my life for me. And I am incredibly present. I am utterly open to whatever the Gods have in mind for me. For I know that their will for me is greater than my own, greater than my organic mind can ever comprehend.
I realized then then and there that upon this journey of life I am not looking for love. That has brought me nowhere. I am looking for power, for glory. I am looking to appease the Gods, and they will bless me accordingly.
In the beginning of the story of humanity, there was nothing evil about sexual intercorse. The Gods had a good time in Heaven all together doing orgies, according Greek mythology. It is only after centuries of misinformation and wars fought over control and religion that sex had been seen as something so taboo and punishable by death.
From what I know now that I didn’t know then, is that sex is power. The establishment fears what it cannot control. The female sexual organ is a portal to another world. A world so hidden from the outside… a world that is the only truth in a world of darkness and illusion.
With love,
Send the cheetahs to the tomb
Our war is over, our queen has met her doom
No more she lives, no more serpent in her room
No more, he has killed Cleopatra, Cleopatra
Big sun coming strong through the motel blinds
Wake up to your girl for now let's call her Cleopatra, Cleopatra
I watch you fix your hair
Then put your panties on in the mirror, Cleopatra
Then your lipstick, Cleopatra
Then your six-inch heels
Catch her
She's headed to the pyramid
She's working at the pyramid tonight
You say it's big but you take it
Ride cowgirl
But your love ain't free no more, baby
But your love ain't free no more